THE PIGEONMAN

 

The pigeonman obsession began when our hero tried to improve his mind by reading Dovestoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment. But he never got past page seven, due to the sound of Pigeons shagging in the loft. The “Noise is driving me nuts” said the soon-to-be Pigeonman, who was experiencing a maddeningly frustrating series of sexual failures with his Icelandic girlfriend, Frigid. "This is just not working, you’re stiffer than I am", he told her one night.

 

He eventually develops such an obsessive hatred of the sexually over-active birds, that he starts turning into one himself.

 

The act was a cult sensation in small dark basement rooms all over London at the turn of the century, ( though some people in Richmond didn’t seem to quite get it.)

 

The Pigeonman appeared on ITV 2’s Gagging For it, and picked up plaudits from the Stage (An inspired piece of Physical comedy), and Omid Djalili, writing in Time Out: "Hail him as a genius!"